~*~Life as Me~*~

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Important Info~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Lds Quiz questions that I posted HERE is a little on the difficult side, so i'm told! However, its been said that i'm slow...I mean, how rude! Ok ok yes, I am slow, I make no secret of it, I just tried not to announce it!! ;) Anyway, I digress, the answers that I have been working on will be posted in the next day or so, I have decided to use this quiz as a scriptural way to wake up my memory and see what I really know! Are you going to play along? Remember do NOT email me answers, I will NOT post them and therefore it will be a waste of time! So there!! :) To give your answers, comment on the post connected to the quiz and if you need the link again its HERE!

Blog posts to come

I've never posted a list of what posts are going to be coming soon and I must say its all rather daunting but given the TWELVE emails i've had about not posting for so long and also the desire to know what I will be blogging about I thought i'd just stick the list here and then work through them!

The last two weeks I have been busy, especially with all that hot sun around, ok I lie, for the days when it was too hot we just lounged around most the day in the garden!! But that was busy stuff, dontcha think? Lol

Below is a list of what will be added, they will be back dated for my own reasons but mainly because it will keep my articles in chronological order. Some of them are in draft ready to be live, some are not more than a title and some are still in the making.....but one by one they will be loaded up in due course.

For now, go check out another little venture of mine The English Homemaker {name taken tongue in cheeck from my good friend Angie @ The American Homemaker} Just makes sense though right?!!!

Coming soon:

18 june fathers day

19 june life in perspective

20 june becoming a british homemaker

21 scriptural references to women/motherhood

22 june work v homemaking

23 june are single parent families real families?

24 june quotes for scrapbooking

25 june needlework pattern

26 june ebay finds

27 june charley's dreams

28 june kirstens birthday

29 june scrapbooking quotes

30 june rebirth of sparkle the imagination

1 july 10 features to make for your home

2 july time management

3 july family remembered but not forgotten

4 july just thoughts

5 july recipe

6 july giveaway - facinating womanhood book

7 july :)

8 july You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
- Sir Winston Churchil

9 july 10 ways of recycling in the home

10 July barry cheeseman - featured guest

11 july angie hodes - guest blogger

There is a lot in store with this blog, so if you haven't already you might want to bookmark me or sign up via the rss feeds!

~*~Debs~*~

Let us be men ~ Fathers Day Special

With Fathers Day just a few days away my thoughts are around my own dad just now, reflecting back on the 40 years i've had him around, the laughs, the tears, the memories and all else that us daddy's girls get to have. My dad is just so cool and such a strong force in my life, he is the only real consistency I can say i've ever had. No matter where my life has been my dad has always been right at the side of me, if i'm wrong or heading down a bad track he doesn't shout me down he tells me lovingly what he thinks. If I make the mistake anyway he never says 'I told you so' he just helps me through it and loves me better.

My dad is old school in many ways, but one thing that sums my dad up is us kids. There is 3 of us, me being the oldest, and as far as I know, he has never let any of us down intentionally. He doesn't always do what 'we' think he should because he has remained true to himself and done good by us in the way he believes is best. My dad has been through some tough times in his life, losing a daughter a year after me almost broke him. He co-wrote a song for me (Tracy by The Cufflinks which ended in a legal battle but thats another story) Oh, Tracey is my middle name by the way! My dad used to come home from a night out with his friends and tell us tales about an imaginary dog in the pub who would drink his beer while he wasn't looking, even now he will not admit that the dog wasn't real!

My dad is predictable in a good way, he is dependable, loving, silly, funny but most of all he is MY dad and I love him more than I could ever show him. He is a dad first in this life, and he loves nothing more than talking about us kids! He has 11 grandchildren and is just as fiercely protective over them as he is with us, probably more so.

I will be seeing my dad this Sunday and I will be telling him just how much I love him because one day I know he isn't going to be around and I don't think I do enough to give back the love and time to him that he's dedicated to me over the years.

I wish with all my heart that Charley could have Fathers Day with his dad, I know nothing would make my little man happier than having his daddy hold him and play with him. Kirsten will see her dad too, I will make sure that they get some time together cos when all is said and done, we just do not know when our time is up and while one is gone the other is hurting and missing out, so enjoy what you have, if you have it, while you can.

Whether you are Lds or other religion or even no religion, take a minute to watch this video. This kind of father, husband and human being is worth more than anything else in the world....unconditional, unselfish love is the only real love that is worth having.

~*~Debs~*~

"Happying up the Internet"

Ok guyses, over the next few weeks is going to be a few minor changes here, mosting inspirational, some sponsorships and an ongoing theme that includes "happying up the internet" which I want you all to give some serious thought and action to.

Click to go to the site

For anyone that knows me will know that I have been through some extreme challenges throughout my life and while I am mostly a positive person I do have times/days where I feel like I just cant keep fighting it anymore. I dont suffer from depression {thankfully} but I am human and I do hurt and let things overwhelm me, I moan, I complain and I have even been known to feel sorry for myself! For the most part I am happy, positive and live a good life, if not erratic at times! I have recently been told I am a fine example as a survivor but I resent that label, I am not a survivor of anything, I am a fighter. To me there is a little difference between the two. A survivor is gaining control, gaining themself again after a traumatic ordeal. A fighter is almost the next step from survivor and refusing to let the past/damage or whatever it is be in control of who they are or where they are going. I am a fighter. I stand alone at times for what my heart tells me is right, I stand with people for what I know is right and I do not {intentionally} instigate negativeness, though I may react negatively to begin with in some situations. On the other side of this I am quite an intelligent person, I am educated, I have life experience that i'm not afraid to admit to or share, I am compassionate and accomodating. I can be full of wisdom or full of humour, I am unique to myself and I try to stay true to myself as much as possible. At times I am boring, other times I am facinating and interesting. Whatever I am in other peoples opinion is fine by me, while I do my best to be my best I will not always be right or get it right. Without gratitude I am just a mere shell of a human being.

SO.....when the boss over at Modern Molly Mormon and I got chatting about a possible study group on facebook, I remembered I had to go read her blog {Jia is a fab blogger if you wanna go looksee} and I totally loved her latest couple of posts more so cos they are the theme of my mind, generally speaking. Gratitude. Clicking the link Jia provided I went to see what it was all about and I am so excited to find that Natasha is calling on anyone and everyone to come along and enrich ourselves and those around us just by remembering our blessings in our every day life, in the face of adversity and 'just because'.

If you have a blog, please add the thingy up above and take part in this effort to not only help ourselves but to " happy up the internet" cos lets face it, there's so much crap, filth and evil out there its only by our small but significant efforts that we can begin to make a small effort with big rewards! Please remember to link it up to Natasha though and give her a mention.

At the end of each relative post I will be sharing 5 things I am grateful for at that time. Sometimes it might be a tiny thing that would sound silly to someone else, other times it could be something deep but whatever it is, its MY gratitude that will help me to continue to be the best I can be and in turn enable me to be a better mother, friend, daughter or whatever role I play. Its all good stuff! :)

 

• I am grateful for the knowledge I have that Jesus Christ understands every aspect of my life, He understands, He knows and He is always willing to help me through a hard time.
• I am grateful that I was able to have children and that I have been blessed with 4 people who genuinely give me a divine reason and purpose.
• I am grateful for my talents {not self selling here!} oddly enough I have a few of them and love to do them and share them where I can.
• I am grateful for the few very close friends that I have who have lent their shoulders to cry on, foot to boot my butt or time to help me through a hard time. Best of all is when they let me into their hearts and lives and allow me to be their friend when they need me most.
• I am grateful for the many people in my life who are inspiring, funny, creative, hard working and decent. The role of each of these people are on and offline but all are valued so much to me.

~*~Debs~*~

What any mum should know....be grateful for your children...NOW

Back in 1989 when I had my first son, I was young (20) naive and very much laid back and quietly confident that my child would be happy, secure, well behaved, good mannered and all the rest. Four kids and 20 years later I laugh at my innocence of it all. There has been many sleepless nights, tears, shouting and sheer wits end over the years, what I didnt put into my first thinking process was that these little people would be affected and influenced by the world around them, circumstances, personal likes and dislikes, personalities etc. So when Charley came along I assessed my 16 years of parenting and figured out things that work better than others and decided to parent him a little different. In doing that much of my style towards the older three has altered too. I'm still the obsessive mater who struggles to let her kids make their own mistakes but i'm getting better at letting go.

However, this last week I have been browsing the BHS website for Charley's school uniform and I am seriously struggling to comprehend that my baby is about to start full time school. Now all mum's (that I know) go through this and it doesn't stop with just the first child or two, but for me knowing that I cant have anymore kids (and dont want anymore either) I am acutely aware that this is the last time I will go through this as a mother. It hurts because I love the stage Charley is at, I love who he is and how he lives in the world around him. I know he has to grow up and extend his social network, get a good education and bit by bit grow up, but that doesn't help the maternal part of me.

So given the article I submitted to Modern Molly Mormon yesterday I have been pondering if I have taught my kids all I could do over the years, what exactly have I taught them, was I too easy, too hard, too this or that. Based solely on my own experiences I have made a few conclusions:

• A yes mum always creates a child that believes the world owes them.
• A no mum creates a child that suffers with self confidence.
• Time. Simple, free and easy, just time with them whether its 5 minutes here or a day there, regular time with the kids is paramount.
• Keep the guidelines simple, clear and consistent, no buts and no excuses.
• Talk to them on their level, acknowledge their thoughts and feelings whether they are right or wrong is often irrelavent, they need to know and be able to express themself in the comfort of non judgement.
• Dont try to fix their problems. Even at the age of 4 the kind of things that Charley finds to be a problem he can work out himself with a little guidance and hinting. Older kids need their thought process to be guided, but let them make (within reason) mistakes to learn the lesson and how responsibility works.
• Never, ever under any circumstances judge your child. One negative judgement will last longer than 10 positive compliments.
• Tell them you love them at least 2 times a day.
• If they are having a hard time but dont want to talk, get them laughing, be the idiot, show them that you respect their privacy and care that they are feeling down.
• Always let them finish their sentences. Cutting in tells them you dont care for their words only your conclusions.
• With older kids, let them move away from your boundaries for a while, let them fly and if they fall be ready to love them better and get them back flying asap. Never hold them back in any way.
• Remember to share your thoughts with them, tell them how you feel about things around you but never let them hear you say a negative word about another human being, that is almost as destructive as you being negative about them.
• Kids that aren't willing or able to sit and talk, use a private note book and hand it back and forth but dont keep it laying around for anyone to see. Kids are more willing to tell us things and share worries if they are comfortable with trusting us.
• Never, ever, ever tell your best friend about your childs girlfriend/boyfriend before you have met them, no matter how much you like them on facebook or msn. Dont ask but just dont do it!!

Being a mum is all I ever wanted in life. I've gained qualifications over the years for this and that but nothing really makes me feel worthwhile like being a mother. I've made more than my faire share of mistakes and i've made some stand alone choices too that have singled me out, even with family but as my kids grow up the one thing they know without any kind of doubt is that I am here, always, no matter what, good or bad. I hope in years to come the cycle of my own upbringing will be broken and my children can become the kind of parents who are positive, confident, faithful and giving. One day I will have grandchildren and then I will be able to do all the mad things that I do with my children only worse....I can get them dirty with chocolate, tell them annoying rhymes and tell them the tricks their parents got up to!

Being a mother is my purpose to life, I am making history, raising children of the future and though my kids are not perfect and drive me insane at times, I know they are on a good track but bring on the grandkids!

No career on this earth can compare to waking up to my 4 year olds hugs and kisses each morning. No amount of money could buy the look in my daughters eye when I buy her a treat that she doesn't expect, nothing compares to sitting with my older boys knowing they are both waiting for us to get through with the 90 mile drive to them.

The day God allowed me to have each of my children the meaning and depth to my life just became more and more significant, no job in this land will outdo motherhood. None.

Nothing in this world compares to my kids telling me they love me. Nothing.

~*~Debs~*~

Book of You. Pt 2

Over on Modern Molly Mormon is the 2nd part of the Book of You challenge. Here goes it:

Last month I started the ongoing challenge of us Mum’s doing something to record our story ready to hand over to our kids in years to come. For anyone that understands the counsel we have had about keeping a journal or had the opportunity to read an ancestors journal you will immediately understand how crucial this challenge can be years down the line when we leave this earth. I’m sure though that a book about who we are can be enjoyed long before then though!

This month is part 2. I started by suggesting you begin using your initial, this time use the second letter in your first name and find as many words with that letter that can be used to describe or relate to you.

This time though I think we need to add a bit of fun with it too, spend a few minutes going through the dictionary/thesaurus, write as many words down with that letter and ask close family/friends or even your children what they think. This is such a laugh to do and really gets the belly laughs going (unless it's just my family and friends that think I’m a bit ‘’off’’!!!)

Use each word as the sub heading for a paragraph or page. Add photos, doodling, mementoes or anything else relevant. Tell a related story, share a feeling on the description and even set a goal to improve if you feel the need!

Also include other things, like what foods you like, favourite show at the moment, what song keeps humming in your head even what your to-do list is today! Remember it's all about YOU!

To offer some of my own Book of Me here is some of my words:

{DEBORAH}:

E for education: I didn’t really put the effort in on my school exams till 6 months before my finals, how I got the qualifications I did is still a mystery to me. Since then I have studied hard in a variety of subjects and have a healthy list of qualifications including a degree in psychology. I love to learn and learn from most things I read, watch, listen to or take part in. my learning style is by visual, having dyscalculia means I struggle with numbers and sequences but using visual I have found my own way of learning and understanding. In doing this my self esteem has risen a great deal.

E for empathy: I often say to people who know of my past, ‘do not feel sorry for me, I do not want or need it’ I also tell them that is because of my past that I am who I am but what I didn’t realise is by making this demand limits the persons response to me and actually hinders their empathy abilities. It wasn’t until I was in a deep conversation with a psychologist friend that I really understood empathy and the essential part it plays in us, our hearts and our lives. Feeling empathy for others is more beneficial and healthy than sympathy in many ways, but figuring out the two is still something I sit and ponder. Empathy is good!

E for even: Being as I am a true Libra style chick I have, many times over the years read up on astrology, bio rhythms and such just for fun and half wondering if they are even close to who I am. The scales is the sign of the Librans and I have to admit I am totally the scales! Symmetry is something I am trying to move away from, the balance in my life throws me sideways if it’s tipped and while unbalance is not always good it is a part of life. This tells me a lot about who I am and how I do things. Just glad I’m not water…. i’d never know where I am!! ;)

E for English: Two-fold, first I am British born and bred, proud to be an English chick and love all of our beautiful English countryside and history. On the other side of it I have always had a deep rooted interest in the English language, literature and words. We have some of the most silliest words and yet we have some funny and awesome words too. I love playing with words especially when I’m in a situation where I feel intimidated, my education kicks in then and my sentences often seem like they are something from the Oxford exam papers!

E for eldest: I am the eldest of four children. I have always hated this role but short of forging my birth certificate there’s not a lot I can do! I’ve never felt like I’m the oldest as the next one down is my brother who was raised to ‘take care’ of us girls which he did a good job of! The youngest of us, my 2^nd brother, is where I get a lot of my inspiration from as he is academic like myself and even though there is 11 years between us he teaches me a whole lot more than I could ever teach him! My eldest child is my best friend, he and I spend hours laughing and analysing the world around us. With Jay being dyslexic it's great to see how his English progresses all the time, even with the spoken word.

E for excellent: Ok this one came from my 4 year old, when I asked him to choose one of three words to say about mummy he decided that I am ‘excellent’!! So, because he chose it and it's his idealised opinion of mummy I am going to keep it in my journal because experience tells me I’m not too far away from excellent turning to something not quite so complimentary!! Lol

These are just a few of the things I have journalled but I hope you get an idea of what this project is all about. If you wish to take part, let me know and if you do it online I’ll link you up to my blog and add you to the challenge list!

Next month I will share with you my actual book and the next letter, B. For now I am still working on getting the design together in between adding to the D and E as and when I think of something so if you are doing yours off the computer, remember to add pages between each letter cos you can always add to it over time.

I got emailed by a lady called Heidi who asked me if I was going to offer some hints and tips being as this kinda thing is my business area, and because I love you Molly Mormon Ladies I am going to extend it to all you guys when I have it completed, and yes it's totally free! ;) I will add the download to it next month.

Happy days!

~*~Debs~*~