~*~Life as Me~*~

Typepad v Blogger

I've been stressing over the lack of my personality on this blog pretty much since I decided to switch from blogger to typepad and while typepad is a very good host with lots of wonderful things I just dont think it is really what I want.

Yes there are some fun backgrounds but nothing that I can edit/adapt to my style/needs. I want to choose what my blog looks like, what is on the sidebars, what the title bars look like etc and unless I am prepared to learn CSS I am pretty much dictated to by typepads own contribution.

Call me ungrateful but i'm paying for this blog, and while the service is phenominal, the people at typepad are very helpful, friendly and know their stuff the sad fact remains that no matter how wonderful they are, unless they add/change to html then there is very little I can gain here.

So i'm looking for the pros and cons of both typepad and blogger that I may not have thought of before I decide to move..........

What do you think? What is your preference? Why?

~*~Debs~*~

Becoming a British Homemaker

In my previous post I talked about the lack of balance between my work at home and my time with my children. After a few weeks of thought, research and analysing I have decided to combine them all and totally redesign how my business trades.

If you are a regular reader you will know that I am a Latter Day Saint (Mormon) mother. Divorced but still significant in life and spirit :) I work from home so I can raise my children myself, I try to stay busy and provide my family with a good diet of spirituality, food, skills, communication, time, love and effort to name a few. In doing this I have struggled in some areas along the way and got to a point where I felt I had 3 choices:

1. Quit working and live on the income I already have coming in.
2. Go out to work and use childcare.
3. Find a better way to manage my work and family.

The idea of being a stay at home mum and nothing else bores me senseless. I love doing my fairy chores, I love decorating, I love making a meal for my kids, I love cuddling up on the sofa being squished in between them both while trying to watch a movie. If that is all I do then I am going to lose my mind before long.

I was tempted with going out to work, Charley is almost in full time school, Kirsten is settled and I figured maybe me getting out there and having a constructured day will mean when I am home its time for the kids, no deadline pressures, no advertising, financing or sponsorship to work on, no write ups, newsletters, articles, blog posts or reviews to do. No accounts to fill in, no invoices to sell out, no deal packages for schools and centres, no printing costs or arguements with the printer about what I want to print verses what it wants to print.....the list goes on. The idea of working with other adults is appealing, the idea of Christmas parties and banter in the office is a plus too. But then I think if thats the life I wanted I shouldn't have had kids. I dont feel guilty for being attracted towards it, I dont even feel bad that deep down its not the right move for me yet, but its an idea that somehow might work in the future. Its a possiblity.

As my family is now, I need to be home. I need to put them first still and then work around what else I have to do. So how do I do it?

Easy. I am a homemaker right? I have to feed my kids? I have to entertain my kids? I have to educate my kids? I have to finance our home? I have to have fun with my kids?

Right. Thats what will become a funloving family and business rolled into one! For all the things I feel my children need to learn, for all the things they want to learn, for all the things I need to do to take care of them I will soon be sharing them here on the www for other parents, mums, single mums and whoever to be able to preen for themselves!

So The British Homemaker will be born soon. On the site there will be gradual collection of sewing projects, homemade furnishings, decorating and resorting tips, craft ideas, craft projects and classes, recipes, parenting ideas, recycling tips and a whole load more! I will be giving so much of my family life to this business that I hope you come join me and enjoy the journey with us.

So, for me, its more important for me to work from home than it is to go to an office job every day, its more important to me that if my son is ill in school its me that collects him, its important to me that when my kids wake up its me they see and the same when they go to sleep. Its important for me to know that Kirsten and Charley will have the same memories later in life as Jaymie and Scott do....of me being a full time mum.

I expect the site to be up and running in the next few weeks, I am having issues with html and css right now so have handed it over to someone who will hopefully be able to do it much quicker than me (and better!). When The English Homemaker is launched there will be a heap of giveaways and competitions....so dont forget to bookmark this blog and keep checking back!!

Edited to say: The new site will be live by end of Sept 09 latest.

~*~Debs~*~

Life in perspective

I'm kind of a deep thinker. I go so far in life, doing what needs to be done then something will either grab my attention or make me unhappy and then i'll stop, think and forget to stop thinking for a while till I find that i've analysed and disected something that has a potential for something good and positive. Sometimes it means I have to go through a process of elimination which can range from a habit through to a person, a choice through to a decision. Not all my analytical moments are positive, and lately the negatives have been piling up until I realised that if I dont spend some time thinking and praying about them I am going to be swamped with misunderstood thoughts and feelings, not good.

So where am I at? I'm not totally sure. My life seems to be up and down, sometimes by my choices and sometimes by the choices of others. I journal a lot and quite often can work out my subconscience through that, but I think this part of my life is more of a changing season rather than a changing circumstance.

What on earth am I talking about?

Just life. Life as I know it. Life at 40. Life as a woman. Life as a mother. Life as a single person. Life as a stay at home mum. Life as a self employed trader. Just life.

My life isn't falling apart, it just isn't working how I feel it can do, some things are missing and somethings are in abundance. Either way, some things have to change.

What though?

My work. My family time. My social life. These are the three areas of my life that give me meaning and purpose. Any one of them can be stressful, fun and busy at any given time and no warnings are given.

I need to figure out how i'm doing each area of my life and how I think I should be doing them...then see about the changes.

My work: Freelance designing and teaching and freelance writing. I feel passionate about creating almost anything with paper, but the route I have taken has not made it easy for me, but even now its the only route I am able to take so I shall carry on and do what I will. However as there are other things that I am beginning to feel passionate about I have researched till my fingers and eyes threaten resignation so i've decided to take on a very different angle with Sparkle the Imagination. It's not totally clear yet, i'm still working on the business plan, sponsors and material for the website. However, the downside to my work is that I have to be much more determined when I sit and work and during school holidays that is mostly hit and miss. My routine is all over the place that its not a routine anymore. My deadlines are rarely met and I have more unfinished projects than a leopard has spots. It's not funny anymore and yet I can't put all the hours back into it while the kids are home because they need and deserve my time and attention too.

My family: I love being around my kids but too often i'm mentally removed from them, thinking of work, dealing with their bickering or getting them motivated to get out and do something. For the most part this is real parenting but where is the fun going to? It's not quite gone yet but its not far from the door which means I have to stop it. Being a single parent means I have to remember everything (thank goodness for lists!) and serve in bother mother and father roles. Some of which is fine, other parts just wears me out. So again, i'm mentally removed again. The kids are getting older, they will both be in school soon and then will be the ideal time to change things around. For now though, there has to be a way round this and keep them happy because I still need to work and gain an income!

My social life: Erm, dunno what to say here other than its pretty much non existant and I realise that if only for my sanity sake I need to get out there and spend more time with real live people. I love the many friends i've made online, in the groups, forum, blogs and media places that I frequent. Its been a blast catching up with old school friends again after 20+ years, I love activities with the church but still there is a part of me that needs to be socialising just for the fun of it, without a constructed and time limited event. Not an easy thing to do as I dont drink and dont go to pubs/bars! Thought still in progress!

In perspective I have a good life. I lots of work opportunities and potential, I have a good balance on finances and there is always something to do with my kids to teach them and share in some quality time somewhere. I am happy with who I am, what I stand for and the majority of my choices. Time management is not my strongest point when the kids are home, I feel like I walk in circles most of the day and end up in the same place by the evening yet when I look around I dont really see what i've done! The house is clean, mostly tidy and almost organised, its a constant job that I enjoy. The kids are here and there with friends and family, in and out on trips and up and down with their routines. Of course most of it is because of the summer holidays....but still!

But that nagging feeling is there. I'm not too sure what it is yet but I hope I can figure it out soon, preferrably before I revamp my regular daily life altogether!!

I'm open to ideas on how to juggle work/family and how do I kick start a social life I haven't had for a few years anyway? What do you suggest? What has worked for you or what does work for you? Tell me.....

~*~Debs~*~

I Wish

Whilst going round the house today cleaning and tidying, shifting boxes and generally trying to make sense of stuff, I found myself wishing. Now i'm a simple kinda chick and really do prefer the laid back but consistent pace to life, but I am SO missing my crafts right now.

So here is what I wish I could do:

• make a fabric photo book
• make a table cloth for the patio table
• do some scrapbook layouts
• bake a cake
• make some handmade paper
• stitch the patchwork blanket i've had since forever
• bake an apple pie
• make a bunting from all the pretty fabrics staring at me
• finish the cross stitch of the princess i started eons ago
• make some new candles

Just a few things I wish I could do right now but with packing some, selling some and donating some I cant do any. I have also been dreaming up a little white and red pinney. Now I have no idea why I like that idea because: 

1. I'm not a very good cook
2. I've never worn one in my life
3. Its about as random as Michael at 7am!

So I might just find a way round my craving for creating by other means. I still have some work on my book to do after neglecting it for a couple of weeks now. I could make some fairy cakes with Charley (the good old packets ones of course!) and I could update my personal journal which has also been neglected lately. Probably do all three today as Kirsten is ill after a night of throwing up, Charley is feeling better after his similar night so something will happen.

Alternatively, if Kirsten is feeling better I might just take them down to Weston and have a couple of hours on the beach with them to chill out. That sounds like a much better idea methinks.

~*~Debs~*~

Setting the record straight with Prop 8

Since the news on Prop 8 came through from California I have received snidey comments through my twitter dm and email (haven't checked anywhere else) as its no secret that I am a Mormon. I am rather fed up of this narrow minded attitude and wish to set MY record straight.

I do not care if you are straight or gay. I do not care if you are married or living in sin. I do not care if you are a parent or dont like children. I do not care if you are a street cleaner or a brain surgeon. I do not care if you love Mormons or hate them. I do not care what religion you are or if you are an athiest.

Get it?

Ok WHY do I not care?

Well because I believe in the free agency that the Lds church encourages us to take. I believe that we all have our own thoughts, beliefs, likes and dislikes. I try not to make judgement on anyone because I am not perfect and I am also trying to follow the example of the Lord Jesus Christ. Yes I fail but I put it right and move on trying to get it better next time. I believe that Jesus loves each and every one of us regardless of who we are, though I do believe He hates many of our sins, mine included but not us as people. I believe we all have to live through our own consciences and standards. I do not assume mine are better than someone elses, I simply do what I believe is right for me and mine.

I also believe that one day we will all be judged for our words, actions, thoughts, feelings and opinions therefore I can only be responsible for myself and take care in educating my children to be the best they can be and not take on prejudices and judgement based on society. When the time comes for our own judgement THAT will be the time to worry.

Nothing and noone can deny the fact that the world was intended for one man and one woman to be in wedlock. However, along the way homosexuality has showed up and it has caused a stir for years. I am not denouncing my faith or Jesus Christ for ANYONE, but I will not make judgement on anyone that is not hetrosexual, I simply do NOT believe that is my call.

I can understand how frustrating the LGBT community is right now but what I do not and will never condone is what comes from their actions and their mouths because they haven't worked out how to deal with something. Now its probably easy for me to say cos i'm not gay or anything but then I dont agree with many of our laws here but i'm not causing trouble, being abusive and hitting out at any one set of people for it. Nor am I portraying myself in a way of disrespect to the Lord or other fellow Lds people, my family, friends or anyone else associated to me. I could always go into politics or get involved in the areas that I strongly feel opposed to, I can vote and do my part as a CIVIL being. My choices are as valid and available as those who are hurt and upset by the Prop 8 decision.

For the record, I am not homophobic, I grew up with lesbian friends of my mums who were a big part of my childhood and teen years, my cousin is gay and I do not deny her and neither do I treat her any different. When I see my cousin I am with her partner too, I will hug them both and treat them as human beings that they are. I love my cousin to bits and am glad I have her in my life. She is a good person, a police officer, a qualified solicitor and comes from a good family. Am I to judge her and push her out of my life? No way!

So, now i've set the record straight I trust that anyone who wants to shoot me down for being Lds now will do so with a little more respect, without name calling and threats and with some explanations to back up your comments. Other than that, you need to really ask yourself if the result wasn't justified.

~*~Debs~*~

Facebook

It's no secret that I hate Facebook. I mean really hate it. Passionately hate it.

But now and again I find its the easiest way to actually interact with my kids and some of my closest but furthest friends so I will succumb to the whole thing and hang out over there. I dont like the games, some of the applications are just naff, mind numbing ideas for the brain dead. I realise this will not make me popular with the Facebook fans but thats ok, i'm not running for popularity anyways and this is my blog after all!

There are some plus's to Facebook though, one of them being that I can use it to practice my humouring one liners and hype about with some fellow, like minded people who really have no pride at all. **waves @ angie** ;) Just jokin hun...or is I? LOL No seriously, it can be fun, but like other media networking it has its limits with my interest. None of them be it Twitter, Linked In, Technorati, Stumbleupon or Facebook really catch my attention for more than a week or so at a time so I just do what I gotta do, enjoy while i'm doing it and move on.

Cos life is like that.

And i'm happy it is.

For now i've touched base with some people I went to school with including brothers and sisters of said people too. I've learnt who married who, who's upped sticks and jumped pond, who does what and worst of all who has the most vulgar vocabulary. There's always a downside though.

While I opted to receive text alerts to who has commented or responded to anything i've said, that means I dont have to keep signing in and dragging myself away from another 5 minute wonder media networking place!

I think I have a mental boredom problem is this is the best I can blog about this week! However, be grateful cos I could be telling you all about the hair salon visit, the eyebrow waxing or Charley's sudden outbreak of flu!

Thank goodness we have some nice weather to get me away from the laptop!!

~*~Debs~*~

Darn those computers!

Wow MIA for over 2 weeks, thats not good! I was just getting on a roll with some of the fun stuff I had been working on and then it all stopped. For some reason I couldn't sign in to ANY of the sites that I frequent, not one of them till a few days ago I got in a forum but nothing else. So a good friend of mine had a play around on my laptop yesterday, checking, editing, deleting, adding and generally looking at things that I wouldnt dare look at much less touch and guess what? I can now live my online life again!! Woohooo!!! :)

I haven't 'missed' the computer the way I normally would but I did get frustrated because I planned on so much, I have made commitments to do certain things on and off here and it was annoying that I couldnt do them. But now I can play catch up....wish me luck!

In the meantime I have had some fantastic times, I wont blog about it all in one go but for now I will just say that I am now officially a FREE woman! No that does not mean you can buy me, raffle me or auction me off, it does not mean that I am giving anything of myself but what it does mean is....when I thought my divorce was final it wasn't.....

I tell ya, this is the BEST feeling I could wish for, there is no bittersweet memories or feelings, just a massive sense of release, relief and optimism for MY future!! This is better than any present money could buy. I have to say though, the relationship wasn't all bad and neither is my EX husband, we just should never have gotten together in the first place, ice and fire just do not mix! However, this is one divorce that should be celebrated!

So, now we know why I'm so happy....let me share other reasons why....

Kirsten is starting back at school full time next week. After a lot of talking and assessments she has determined that she does not want to use the integration programme and go part time and work upwards, she just wants to go in there, get started and use the support network set up to help her catch up on work that she's missed that I couldn't teach her.

This is fantastic news yet each morning she still asks 'can I go to school today?' She looks at her uniform longingly and sighs. She knows there's a plan, she knows there is the system we have to work in but she also knows that she has come a LONG way from where she was to where she is!

Remember I mentioned those pre-teen hormonal strops? Now its a case of, 'what, no strop?' Seriously, something in her head has clicked, she is so much happier, stronger and open minded than she has EVER been and I admit that i'm loving it! Just have one eye open for the storm though...cos you can never be too sure with kids eh? :) She's currently on a ban from her laptop after I discovered new life under her bed which surpassed my Jay's previous attempts at claiming personal domain at home. I tell ya, it was horrific, I stood and stared like it was something from a movie. Looking back I should have taken a photo, perhaps it could have gone to a museum for some science experiment or better still a gallery for art! Kirsten and I have a deal, I make her bed and put all her doggies nice and comfy and she takes care of the rest, and while she usually pretty good since she's had her room done, this last few days has caused a neglect on both our sides as we have jetted around gloucestershire and experimented with a variety of crafting....however there is still a limit eh? I thought taking the laptop away would be the breaking point but no. She looked at me and said 'I dont think I'll rush to leave my room a mess again will i?' and walked away acceptingly. I stood on the landing like a total lemon. In my head I was ready for a defense, a reason, an explanation but no, I was now rewarded with the opportunity for any of them.

I won.

Without a word.

Or a stroppy look.

Or any arguement.

Day 2 with no laptop for her and she's in a GOOD mood. So now I want to know WHERE IS MY KIRSTEN? WHO HAS TAKEN HER? I haven't taken it out of her room, she's left it where I put it and she is great at being trusted.

I have one heck of a tidy bedroom next to mine! I'm just not used to it! But she has to maintain this for another 3 days before she is redeemed.

Charley boy has been loving nursery. There is only one negative going on with him and thats due to his father lacking in his life. This has recently caused him to become clingy, needing almost constant reassurance from me that i'm not going anywhere and the last few nights he has woken up crying or screaming. He continually mentions his dad, he wants to go to his house in my car, he wants to go to the train station to pick him up and he even puts his teddy on his top bunk for 'daddy to cuddle with when he sleeps over'. I tell you, it has reduced me to tears many times listening to his need for his dad, trying to answer his questions positively and not lie to him or be negative about his dad, i'm running out of answers and ideas. I dont want to crush is young innocence or have him feel like he's not important. He has drawings and paintings in a folder just for his dad, he prays for his daddy in his prayers and he talks to him on his play phone. I just dont get it, why someone suddenly stops seeing their child. I could kind of understand if Charley was naughty in any way but I kid you not, he is almost a perfect child! Everyone he meets loves him, he gets old ladies chatting in shopping lines, he talks to the guy in the car shop about bikes, he ends up walking out of a shop with a freebie at times too cos he's just so darned eager to chat and share things. I have no control over the EX but I do have control over our life here and for all the times I feel Charley is being let down and hurt I am making things more fun and loving. Call it replacement if you like, I'll call it trying to fill in the gaps. However if the EX decides at anytime that he would like to start seeing Charley again that would be truly fantastic and I will do nothing to stop it, but while he's processing the importance of a little  person he chose to create with me I will just carry on enjoying the special, gifted and awesome little man that he's growing up to be. The blessings are all mine right now!!

Look, tell me this little dude isn't just cool, cute and charming....

Ok mum, got work to do....see ya later!! ;)

WHAT do I DO with this then mum?

Wall-e got a look in for some fun reading and drawing time, I think he liked this.

Making felt alien finger puppets....to go with this....

The Rocket Ship! To be continued.....(its still an UFO = Un Finished Object)

I bought some canvasses for the kids to draw on, this is what they each made for me! OohI feel speshal!! ;) Charley had a little help with his but essentially he knew what he wanted!

 

Each month the kids had a 'special treat' this was Charleys, Fireman Sam's Firefighter Set!

Well I guess I said more than I originally planned, but thats ok, I am allowed after all!! Oh, Chris, I will add some more of the conversations i've had with Charley later, I have them noted in my journal which is downstairs and i'm upstairs and quite honestly I just cant be bothered to go get it!! :) So that will be for you then!! Lol

Somehow we lost Charleys glasses between the car, the pottery shop and his bedroom. So Garfield is now declared lost in action. We decided after two days that we couldnt keep hoping he'd show up when he felt like it so we toddled off to Vision Express and got a new pair, so welcome to Blue's Clues! Doesnt he look just darn gorgeous?? He was so excited to get new ones that he almost fell off the chair when he swivelled round to look in the mirror!! LOL

I still have loads more photos but i'll post them another time! Right now I am doing the last touches to a tinkerbell outfit for Kirsten's Young Women's night tonight!

I will also be catching up with previous promises on this blog over the next day or so, so check back! 

So, is anyone doing any Easter making? We are working on a few things that i'll share in the next few days, for now though I GOT to catch up here and there.

~*~Debs~*~

Forgive me

I like to think i'm a good sport in most area's in life, but for the life of me I am struggling with the excitement over Paris Hilton and her latest craze of her range of craft items. Ok so this sounds like sour grapes BUT lets face it, at what part of all her life has there even been a HINT of interest in crafts publicized? Am I really expected to jump for joy that a rich-kid is hijacking the craft that i've shared and loved for a good quarter of her life? Or is it the famous thing going on? Well guess what? I DONT BUY INTO THE FARCE! I know famous people, not just wannabe's I mean REAL famous people and do I jump all up and down when I see/hear from them? NO I do not! Why? cos they are still just people. I have no doubt that Paris Hilton is a lovely person in her own right, I mean I admit that my heart goes out to her with some of the failures she's endured but on the other hand she played the camera's, she played the paperazzi, she played to part of a spoilt rich kid who cared nothing of anyone or anything other than what she chose. Yes we all change, we all grow up, but personally, I dont think Ms Hilton has got enough of a wow crowd to last the distance just yet.

But that said, I hope I am proven wrong some day, I hope Ms Hilton does stay committed to the products she offers, but most of all, I really hope they are HER designs and not someone elses with her name being added to them....COS THAT IS JUST LOW.

I cant say I dont like Paris Hilton though, because I do, not sure why but I think she could have a lot going for her if she truly settles down her wild life and gains some self respect and really gets to grips with all that genuine, real and real-life stuff. By all means try something new, get involved, work at it but dont be a fly by night gamer and show us just how shallow you are, that would totally disrespect and upset many people who just dont deserve that.

Wouldnt a slow connection into the field be better? I mean, many people are still remembering the prison time she served and while I sympathised with her, it just proves that even money cant always protect us but in reality, do famous people just fall into any area they like and automatically get accepted for who they are? Yes, and that makes scrapbooking and some scrapbookers of all levels and fields rather shallow especially when you look at just how hard many scrappers, designers and project planners work to just get a breadline income!!

Bah humbug! It just sticks in my teeth when the rich get rich off of people in the real world and in return get some kind of idolising that isn't even healthy or warranted to begin with.

Time will tell if Ms Hilton has what it really takes. As I said, I hope she proves me wrong but for now I for one will NOT be rushing to scream, shout and stalk photos of her, nor will I rush to buy any of her items if I prefer something else more, but if she has what I want and I like it I will buy it, but then i'll be on the look out to see where its made and who designed it, cos unlike Heidi Swapp and Stephanie Barnard and the like I do not think Ms Hilton is anywhere in their league.

~*~Debs~*~