~*~Life as Me~*~

Becoming a British Homemaker

In my previous post I talked about the lack of balance between my work at home and my time with my children. After a few weeks of thought, research and analysing I have decided to combine them all and totally redesign how my business trades.

If you are a regular reader you will know that I am a Latter Day Saint (Mormon) mother. Divorced but still significant in life and spirit :) I work from home so I can raise my children myself, I try to stay busy and provide my family with a good diet of spirituality, food, skills, communication, time, love and effort to name a few. In doing this I have struggled in some areas along the way and got to a point where I felt I had 3 choices:

1. Quit working and live on the income I already have coming in.
2. Go out to work and use childcare.
3. Find a better way to manage my work and family.

The idea of being a stay at home mum and nothing else bores me senseless. I love doing my fairy chores, I love decorating, I love making a meal for my kids, I love cuddling up on the sofa being squished in between them both while trying to watch a movie. If that is all I do then I am going to lose my mind before long.

I was tempted with going out to work, Charley is almost in full time school, Kirsten is settled and I figured maybe me getting out there and having a constructured day will mean when I am home its time for the kids, no deadline pressures, no advertising, financing or sponsorship to work on, no write ups, newsletters, articles, blog posts or reviews to do. No accounts to fill in, no invoices to sell out, no deal packages for schools and centres, no printing costs or arguements with the printer about what I want to print verses what it wants to print.....the list goes on. The idea of working with other adults is appealing, the idea of Christmas parties and banter in the office is a plus too. But then I think if thats the life I wanted I shouldn't have had kids. I dont feel guilty for being attracted towards it, I dont even feel bad that deep down its not the right move for me yet, but its an idea that somehow might work in the future. Its a possiblity.

As my family is now, I need to be home. I need to put them first still and then work around what else I have to do. So how do I do it?

Easy. I am a homemaker right? I have to feed my kids? I have to entertain my kids? I have to educate my kids? I have to finance our home? I have to have fun with my kids?

Right. Thats what will become a funloving family and business rolled into one! For all the things I feel my children need to learn, for all the things they want to learn, for all the things I need to do to take care of them I will soon be sharing them here on the www for other parents, mums, single mums and whoever to be able to preen for themselves!

So The British Homemaker will be born soon. On the site there will be gradual collection of sewing projects, homemade furnishings, decorating and resorting tips, craft ideas, craft projects and classes, recipes, parenting ideas, recycling tips and a whole load more! I will be giving so much of my family life to this business that I hope you come join me and enjoy the journey with us.

So, for me, its more important for me to work from home than it is to go to an office job every day, its more important to me that if my son is ill in school its me that collects him, its important to me that when my kids wake up its me they see and the same when they go to sleep. Its important for me to know that Kirsten and Charley will have the same memories later in life as Jaymie and Scott do....of me being a full time mum.

I expect the site to be up and running in the next few weeks, I am having issues with html and css right now so have handed it over to someone who will hopefully be able to do it much quicker than me (and better!). When The English Homemaker is launched there will be a heap of giveaways and competitions....so dont forget to bookmark this blog and keep checking back!!

Edited to say: The new site will be live by end of Sept 09 latest.

~*~Debs~*~

Book of You. Pt 2

Over on Modern Molly Mormon is the 2nd part of the Book of You challenge. Here goes it:

Last month I started the ongoing challenge of us Mum’s doing something to record our story ready to hand over to our kids in years to come. For anyone that understands the counsel we have had about keeping a journal or had the opportunity to read an ancestors journal you will immediately understand how crucial this challenge can be years down the line when we leave this earth. I’m sure though that a book about who we are can be enjoyed long before then though!

This month is part 2. I started by suggesting you begin using your initial, this time use the second letter in your first name and find as many words with that letter that can be used to describe or relate to you.

This time though I think we need to add a bit of fun with it too, spend a few minutes going through the dictionary/thesaurus, write as many words down with that letter and ask close family/friends or even your children what they think. This is such a laugh to do and really gets the belly laughs going (unless it's just my family and friends that think I’m a bit ‘’off’’!!!)

Use each word as the sub heading for a paragraph or page. Add photos, doodling, mementoes or anything else relevant. Tell a related story, share a feeling on the description and even set a goal to improve if you feel the need!

Also include other things, like what foods you like, favourite show at the moment, what song keeps humming in your head even what your to-do list is today! Remember it's all about YOU!

To offer some of my own Book of Me here is some of my words:

{DEBORAH}:

E for education: I didn’t really put the effort in on my school exams till 6 months before my finals, how I got the qualifications I did is still a mystery to me. Since then I have studied hard in a variety of subjects and have a healthy list of qualifications including a degree in psychology. I love to learn and learn from most things I read, watch, listen to or take part in. my learning style is by visual, having dyscalculia means I struggle with numbers and sequences but using visual I have found my own way of learning and understanding. In doing this my self esteem has risen a great deal.

E for empathy: I often say to people who know of my past, ‘do not feel sorry for me, I do not want or need it’ I also tell them that is because of my past that I am who I am but what I didn’t realise is by making this demand limits the persons response to me and actually hinders their empathy abilities. It wasn’t until I was in a deep conversation with a psychologist friend that I really understood empathy and the essential part it plays in us, our hearts and our lives. Feeling empathy for others is more beneficial and healthy than sympathy in many ways, but figuring out the two is still something I sit and ponder. Empathy is good!

E for even: Being as I am a true Libra style chick I have, many times over the years read up on astrology, bio rhythms and such just for fun and half wondering if they are even close to who I am. The scales is the sign of the Librans and I have to admit I am totally the scales! Symmetry is something I am trying to move away from, the balance in my life throws me sideways if it’s tipped and while unbalance is not always good it is a part of life. This tells me a lot about who I am and how I do things. Just glad I’m not water…. i’d never know where I am!! ;)

E for English: Two-fold, first I am British born and bred, proud to be an English chick and love all of our beautiful English countryside and history. On the other side of it I have always had a deep rooted interest in the English language, literature and words. We have some of the most silliest words and yet we have some funny and awesome words too. I love playing with words especially when I’m in a situation where I feel intimidated, my education kicks in then and my sentences often seem like they are something from the Oxford exam papers!

E for eldest: I am the eldest of four children. I have always hated this role but short of forging my birth certificate there’s not a lot I can do! I’ve never felt like I’m the oldest as the next one down is my brother who was raised to ‘take care’ of us girls which he did a good job of! The youngest of us, my 2^nd brother, is where I get a lot of my inspiration from as he is academic like myself and even though there is 11 years between us he teaches me a whole lot more than I could ever teach him! My eldest child is my best friend, he and I spend hours laughing and analysing the world around us. With Jay being dyslexic it's great to see how his English progresses all the time, even with the spoken word.

E for excellent: Ok this one came from my 4 year old, when I asked him to choose one of three words to say about mummy he decided that I am ‘excellent’!! So, because he chose it and it's his idealised opinion of mummy I am going to keep it in my journal because experience tells me I’m not too far away from excellent turning to something not quite so complimentary!! Lol

These are just a few of the things I have journalled but I hope you get an idea of what this project is all about. If you wish to take part, let me know and if you do it online I’ll link you up to my blog and add you to the challenge list!

Next month I will share with you my actual book and the next letter, B. For now I am still working on getting the design together in between adding to the D and E as and when I think of something so if you are doing yours off the computer, remember to add pages between each letter cos you can always add to it over time.

I got emailed by a lady called Heidi who asked me if I was going to offer some hints and tips being as this kinda thing is my business area, and because I love you Molly Mormon Ladies I am going to extend it to all you guys when I have it completed, and yes it's totally free! ;) I will add the download to it next month.

Happy days!

~*~Debs~*~

Kiling time......productively

While I am waiting to see the knee surgeon before deciding on the timing of the move to Utah I decided to do some stuff to the house in case it works out I cant go for a while. If I can go all I need is in place, if I can't then there is no way I want to stop in this area longer than I have to so to prepare for staying Kirsten and I began repainting the hall stairs and landing. The 'project madness' is about neutralising the colour scheme to cream now, freshen it all up and create the blank canvas that will make it easier when it comes to searching for possible exchange people to envision my home as theirs.

So today, instead of going to Bristol to pick up the fabric that should have been sent to Gloucester I veered off to Focus, armed up with a super sized bucket of paint and promptly went home and began my painting. The once bright yellow hall, stairs and landing is now a fresh cream with nice white woodwork, it looks so much better! As the house is all laminated I decided I would also get a cheap carpet for the stairs and landing so the house has that welcoming feel to it. Well the carpet is still in my car and the last bit of painting is still left to be done! However, I did detour and make a mini gallery that i've always wanted to do but never got round to it! Wanna looksee?

A simple word in chipboard letters, on a matted background makes a pretty cute feature.

Home art comes in many forms and can make a great addition to any range of accessories around the home. One of my favourite things is to frame the kids drawings, I probably have about 8 in frames so far, and still counting.

However, not to be left out I done a stamper one myself!

Not too bad eh? :)

All I know right now is that I'm not standing still, I dont like this area, I dont want to be here and yet I can't go where I really want to be, at least yet. However, I am not going to just lay down and take it, I am keeping control of my life and mentally adjusting to staying here in the UK cos I have a gut feeling that is what I am needing to do. So now i'm going to begin searching for an exchange, if I can get near the beach on this side of the isle then that is good enough for me! Of course, the kids love the idea of being near the beach!! So we'll wait and see what happens on Thursday really, but mentally I just have to be somewhere.

~*~Debs~*~

The last day of May

Nothing totally special about the last day of May, except its the ending of the first half of the year and then the start of the next half! Whoopeee I know but I am wondering where the year has gone to, it seems like only weeks ago I was dealing with all the issues with Kirsten and her dad. Now, 6 months on she wants nothing to do with him regardless of what I say to encourage her to just accept him for who he is. She only bothers with that side of her family when they make contact with her, which isnt really that often. I guess she has to do this one herself. A couple of weeks ago she asked me to text her nan to tell her she wasn't going up there for the weekend because she was going into town and to the cinema with her friends. In return I got her nan accusing me of all sorts. I assume she thought I was keeping Kirsten away. I asked Kirsten if she had any idea why her nan would say all this but instead of getting a yes or no she got angry that her nan would say this stuff. Next time I wont say anything to her, there's no way i'm going to be the reason she doesn't see her family, especially before we fly out of here.

Today i'm very restless about the move to Utah, things are in and out the house like i'm a shop, paperwork is keeping our postman busy and dealing with all the natural emotions of moving so far away from my boys and my dad is starting to weigh me down. But having spoken with all of them they totally support our move and our reasons for going. I knew it would be hard but I didn't think i'd be affected so soon, maybe a few days before flying out but not yet. In my gut I know its the right time so I dont have doubts enough to stop me going, just that its naturally going to be strange not having my boys in driving distance. Ebayers don't help either, they win a bid, not a buy it now price but a bid, they turn up and get rude and offensive so much so that twice i've had to ask them to leave and cancel out the transaction. Now if they'd have bartered with me i'd have been fine, after all, thats what you do when your buying secondhand stuff, but these guys didnt, not one little bit. I wondered if it would have been different if there was a man in the house. Idiots.

We are loving the weather this weekend, through all the sorting, packing, cleaning and tidying we have kept a good spirit here, half geared by Kirsten and her friend Sophie. At this moment in time I wish I had two girls, I think it would have been easier for Kirsten over the years but it is what it is and she will have 2 step sisters in months to come and some new friends are already waiting to meet her so I think thats another good thing about us going. My friend Angie is going all out to help us there in Lehi, her children are working on their English accent so we're going to have some fun there...especially when I do my brummie one which Kirsten hates!!! Lol We are going to stay with Angie and her family for three weeks and in that time I just know I am going to learn a lot and have the best time! I just wish she wasn't moving though!! :( **sigh**

Dinner outside today for us, a full roast dinner (blame the kids) out on the patio under the great big parasol with the cat scavaging and the dog whining....but I tell ya, he has no table manners to sit at the table!! ;)

Oh, one last thing about idiots, getting here from somewhere other than Technorati does not hide you are here! Lmao! You know who you are!! :)

Have a wonderfulastic Sunday!! :)

~*~Debs~*~

Life as Me ~ Part 2 ~ Utah Panic

Sat here going through the legal stuff I feel a panic attack coming on. I don't normally freak out over things like this, even though moving abroad is a big thing. I know its the right thing to do and I know its the right time and we are all super excited at hopping on that plane and heading into the almost unknown.

But....i'm panicking all the same. The original apartment we were having has been leased to someone else. Since then i've emailed with a few people and most of them say that I need to wait till we get there but that's not offering much security is it?

One person at the US embassy says I can apply for an extended stay visa when I get there, another person says I have to apply before I get there.

My stuff is still being sold slowly but I have two sheds full of junk that is going to take days to sort out and I only have one pair of hands.

The bank account is possible to open from here but they need my signature...which requires me to be there. Go figure!

Because of the cool chick, Angie, I have decided to look at going to Lehi, near where she is because she is well worth stalking for her cooking!! Trust me, i'm serious here!! Go check out her blog and tell me i'm wrong! Besides that, Angie has raved about what she likes about the town and is giving me some good pointers and when all is said and done, that is what someone needs when they move to a totally new area! Thanks hunny! :)

Back to more sorting, phone calls and sweet talking....

~*~Debs~*~