~*~Life as Me~*~

A moan thats trying to be happy :)

Friday we had a ride down to Devon to see a house. Given that its going to be approximately a year before I can fly anywhere I know I still dont want to be where we are now and given that Charley starts full time school in September i'm not sure I am going to want him upheaved the way Kirsten has been so Utah may well be on hold for a few years.

But Devon was lovely, a short way from the beach, good schools in walking distance and not too far from shopping areas either! We found Tesco, Macdonalds and a garden centre without even trying as well as a horse riding school, a kids football club and a massive sized park! We didn't venture to the beach though cos Kirsten had plans of staying at her friends for the weekend in Tewkesbury so time wasn't on our side. The drive off the motorway was just to die for, all that countryside and open spaces, the slower pace of life even showed in the traffic, noone seemed to be in a hurry to get anywhere!

Along the way we stopped off for something to eat and drink, the kids and Jakey had fun with a tree we parked up by......

not sure why he wouldn't take his coat off, it was a red hot afternoon! Kirsten hung out on one of the higher branches for a while...

In all the kids enjoyed the day, would have been nice if we'd have been able to get there earlier so we could have gone to the beach or something.

Yesterday I decided to finish off cutting the top of the hedge in the front garden, instead of a mohican it now has a tuft cos by the time i'd cut the grass and most of the hedge I was in quite a lot of pain with my knee. It seems to be progressively getting worse and the limitations is very frustrating now. By 10pm I was as good as puling my hair out with it, the prescribed painkillers I have didn't kick in, even by the 2nd lot so I called the NHS helpline to see if they could recommend something, a doctor called me back and said he would come out in the next 3-4 hours and give me a pain relief shot. In the past when i've had to have a call out to the kids someone has shown up rather quickly so I figured that might just be the standard. I needed a shower but didn't wanna get in and then try and rush back downstairs to open the door so I waited....and waited....and waited. By 1am ish I was hanging, I just so needed sleep so I figured i'd sleep on the sofa, leave the curtains open and I'd be sure to hear the door when it knocked.

I woke up around 8.45 to Charley asking me to put the Jetix channel on, I had slept right through and wondered if the doctor had come and tried to wake me. I called the number I was given last night and was told that I wasn't even on the list of call outs. Nice. Although my knee is still quite stiff to move and painful its not as bad as last night so for now I wont be going on the non-list for help!! I'm just pottering around today, stopping and starting like a 90 year old, well the doddery 90 year olds anyway.

I guess i'm feeling a bit flat today, i'm crap when it comes to handling pain like this especially when there are things that I want to get on with doing. Maybe tomorrow i'll be back to my normal self. Fingers crossed!

~*~Debs~*~

Has summer really started?

My days have been pretty good recently, plenty to smile about and lots to laugh at. This last few days especially. Monday we went to spend some time with Scott for his birthday, Jay and Chelsea joined us too so it was great having us all together again. The weather was still hot, the pub garden we sat in was nice and Charley got to see some fire engines. Jay and Chelsea took him to the fire station but there weren't any in the station for him to see but he enjoyed looking around all the same. I forgot to get photos though, we were too busy chatting and laughing and my brain capacity {especially when over heated} is limited. 11pm we got back, we had to take a detour in Clevedon though cos I hadn't put enough diesel in the car, which was its own issue anyway as before I set off I went to fill up, got to about £10 and realised that I hadn't transfered any money between my accounts! Thankfully the woman in Tesco knew me and let me go back {as opposed to leave the kids for down payment!} so off I scooted back home, done the bank thing, went back and finally we got on the motorway. Just cruising along I get comfy, settle in to singing along with the radio and realised i'd left my drink in the hall at home. Well I wasn't going back now and I wasn't stopping again! I drink a lot and always have a drink on the go so this was a big deal for me. Thankfully there was no disaster at the pub, they had plenty of J2o's in :) So, on our way back, I remembered that I hadn't finished filling up back at Tesco and the light beeped. I was ok for a few miles so I didn't panic too much, then I saw the sign for the next services, something like 12 miles and that was more than my reserve so then I did panic! A fervent prayer, lots of begging and willing the car to not give up on me I eventually got off at Clevedon, two nice girls pointed me in the right direction and all was well. Now just to find the motorway again. All I will say is Clevedon looks ok in the dark!!!

Yesterday we went to Weston-Super-Mare, we walked in the muddy sand, took a few pictures, walked the whole length of the promenade, debated who might be inside the v.i.p car on the wheel and ate ice cream before chips. Charley took his flip flops off and ended up banging his big toe up while hopscotching. Looks pretty nasty but once we washed it it was ok enough for him to walk again. Jake tried to climb through all the little holes in the wall between the path and the sand, if Kirsten hadn't pulled him back I think he'd have got stuck! Stupid dog!! :)

We saw more short skirts that looked like belts than what New Look have in there whole range. Each time I saw one I would look at Kirsten, she would say 'yeah I know, dont get ideas else you'll torture me'!! I think she's got the hint! :) Charley's white t-shirt lasted as long as it took him to get out the car! Ice cream, juice and whatever else disguised him well, in fact when I cleaned him up before coming home I wasn't totally convinced I had the right kid! However I was releived to find that I had, so no police chases on the way back :)

Fed up of typing now so i'm going to post a few photos:

This is what Weston looked like when we left....we sat for ages just watching and admiring it:



Before long this was my kids:

Only one thing was missing, but thats for me to know! ;) Other than that it was a totally awesome few hours. However, after a shower I found that I had a choice to make, either return the beach which had somehow got into my hair or offer some contribution towards council tax, there was THAT much of it on me alone! For the first time in ages I was awake with the pain in my knee, it was horrendous and I was on the verge of tears. It hasn't been this painful for quite a while. Eventually by the 2nd lot of painkillers it settled down and I dozed off about 3am! 7.30 alarm was NOT welcome I kid ya not! Hopefully the knee surgeon on Monday will be able to recommend an alternative to co-codemol as my gp suspects so just waiting for the appointment now.

Enough waffle, its another warm day and we are off to do some shopping! :)

~*~Debs~*~

Going again!

I've had a crazy week this week, i've had visits from family, made new friends and my relationship with Jd ended. The kids are looking forward to school and nursery, I'm ready to start a new job and best of all I have my Scott here!
Life isn't so bad here, I know I slipped in about Jd and I there but i'm not making a big deal over it, I'm not going to fall apart cos he's messed me about for a few weeks now and nothing is ever good enough. De je vous going on there!
So its onwards and upwards, the pain will go away in time as will the memories and the frustration but I know I am not going to die, I'm not going to fall apart and I'm not going to allow him to mess me around anymore.
So there!
So now i'm all ready for the new school term we are using today and tomorrow to pack for a short break holiday we are going on on Monday! We will be right by the beach, in very good company and I am confident just the change of scenery will be just the ticket to recharge my batteries! I'm so excited!!
I'll do a proper catch up soon though, I know i've had a few emails from family and friends to 'hurry up and blog' again! I think they must be bored ya know!! :)
In the meantime I am enjoying the semi-sun here, I've made a start of my jungle of a garden, had some hilarious times with Scott and also managed to lose 18lbs in weight!
Not every jerk in life can bring a stubborn dog down eh? ;)
Right, this is all from me now, I'm waiting for the kids to decide if they want to go out to dinner and go bowling after or if they want a movie night in with a takeaway...I'm swinging by the bowling myself but I think I might be losing!! :(

~*~Debs~*~

A-Waaahhh? :)

If you could sum up just one of your days what would you say? If you could sum up just one of your weeks what would you say? How about a month? Well for me I'm still trying to decide...see when I met Jd I was happy in my own little bubble, doing what I was doing, going about my days minding my own business getting my life back in order etc, etc then in no time at all he comes along and the whole bubble not only splutters and bursts but it leaves the broadest splattering splashes you can imagine. A guy thing? Really? Well all I can say is its a good job this guy is worth it!!

First we are undecided whether to live here or there in Oregon, correction, I'M undecided, then a couple of job offers come along and throws sumat else in the works and just totally spins me out. But I decide to focus on my personal and family life more so than my work...so the boy wins! Anyway, just as I think we have finally made a final decision a spanner is thrown into the wheel and we need to rethink it. But all is not lost, we have made a final, final decision now and I refuse to change my mind!! I am going to Oregon! That's the end of that!! :)

I am so excited, but I'll talk about that later, right now I wanna sum up my days a little. So, I go from plodding along, busy with my kids, work and just making my lil house a home and then it speeds up, slows down, speeds up...you get the gist! Since Wednesday when I dropped Jd off at the airport my days are MAD, FRANTIC, FAST, HECTIC, TENSE, MESSY, BUZZING and just about everything else along those lines. This morning I even woke up with a nauseus feeling in my stomach and such a knot that I was sure I was not going to live through it! Ok so thats a bit exagerated but hey, I need some sympathy here!! Just as well I got over it, cos every minute I let it rent space in my head is another minute lost. Wanna know why the sudden panic and desire to throw up? Because I am leaving here on the 17th July...and to my working out that makes it err...13 days time!!

Crazy? Gosh yeah!!

So, I am frantically running round selling my way over the top amount of craft stuff, all my furniture, bedding, curtains etc, etc and i'm not sure i'm going to make it in time and that freaks me out because my notice has gone in to the housing association and cant be retracted!! Insane? You flippin bet!!

On the upside, when a few of my friends asked me if they could take me out for a drink/meal etc before we go I figured there just wasn't enough nights (gosh I sound so popular eh?) so i've decided to have one night at a really nice place round the corner from me so I can kill a bazillion birds with one stone! So, if your local and you wanna stop by here is the details:

Place: The Cross Hands, Brockworth

Time: 7pm onwards though I wont be out till late cos i'll probably have Charley with me

Date: Saturday 12th July

If the weather stays how it is I shall see about everyone going in the garden so any kids can play around so bring them a ball or something just in case!

If that's not enough good news for ya, get this. I have four cousins that I haven't seen for years, in fact 2 of them i've never met, only heard of and seen in the odd picture here and there. Anyway, while browsing Gene's Reunited a couple of nights ago I found my uncle's family tree (my dad's brother). Now my dad and my uncle Roy have never fallen out, they just lived separate lives etc and not really kept in touch too much. Anyway, finding my one cousin, Roy, I decided to message him and guess what? Yeah he was drawn into my weedy-woo-webb!! hehehe Seriously, he replied back, I found him on Facebook and we got on msn...and now i'm going to meet him and his son on Saturday for the very, very first time ever! I am so excited about this! AND my other cousin, Margy is going to be there and my uncle Roy! If all goes well I hope to meet Kevin for the first time and see Sharon again! This is totally off the wall amazing and exciting to me, I tell ya, I dont go with these family rifts that keep the kids apart, it wastes so much time in life. But its not too late, its all good stuff!! I can't wait to see how much we are alike, there is a strong resemblance in my dads side of the family!! :)

More good stuff? Yeah I have a boat load tonight! First my sxc boy is most likely coming back on Sunday for a few days to help me get more stuff done. Isn't that just the sweetest thing a guy can do for a chick? Travel so far just for a few days to help out? This guy is just the sweetest and the most considerate ever, and I'm going to really push the boat out and say that I believe, no I know this is just who he is as a person. I know that for a fact! :) Next is my other cousin on my maternal side, we only recently got in touch after many years of knowing each other existed but not being in each others lives, Sam, she's probably gonna be there too with her luberly partner Kim, now isn't that just the coolest? Totally rockin' if ya ask me!! :)

So, as stressed as I am about moving and packing, I am ROCKIN' my head off with all this good stuff in my life.

Ok, last but not least Jay has decided he is coming with me!! Now that is one major turnaround for my boy I can tell ya! So now he's looking forward to hanging out with Jd's girls and getting to know the new life he can build for himself and have his buddy, Jd on hand for the guy talk they often have at stupid hours in the night!! Only one thing would make all this perfect...if my Scott would come...but he has his college to finish and wants to do Uni here so I'm not going to push it. But I can wish right? :)

So, am I excited about going to Oregon? Dah! I am so excited I can do the happy dance each time I think of it! No matter how stressed I feel, how tired I am or how much my head hurts, I just wanna dance like an idiot knowing I am finally going to be able to work on my relationship properly with the boy, get to know his girls better and generally build up our new family unit and the new life. Daunting? Heck yeah but way more exciting than scary!! Lol

So, even though I haven't mentioned anything about last week when the boy was here, it's only cos I cant flippin remember with all this stuff going on but be assured, it will come back to me and i'll soon be having more to waffle about!!! :)

I've stuck some photos of Kirsten and Charley in the galleries over there to the left, more to be added when I get chance and one each for my boys and Jd! :) Luv photos. Gotta have photos. Must have photos!!

Oh, talking of photos, I'm still going to share the almost finished bedroom I started doing for Kirsten...in another post, cos right now i'm shattered and have to get up early tomorrow. Charley is at his dads for the weekend and i'm off to do a crop shop at Sonia's (**waves**) crop!

So what has the photos got to do with all this? Absolutely nothing, I just dont like a post without a photo, and I have too many of them! :)

Sweet dreams :)
~*~Debs~*~